I’m having a blast at work ( hint the sarcasm dripping from the tone). Its one thing to face a job you dislike everyday and another if that job also contains the resident bitch. I don’t know what’s my problem with her because as far as i know, I don’t ever get on to her bad side less bitching about her. Hell, before she was always nice to me..always smiling at me and asking about my day. But now, she’s giving me the cold shoulder and once a while i caught her glaring at me for no apparent reason. She even talked about me behind my back, wtf??!!
Because of this, I thought that why not post about this article about the types of bitches that you’ve had ( or might) met and how to avoid them. Beware bitches!!!
1) Secret Bitch in Business
You know her. She sits in the cube across from the bathroom and gives you a sickly sweet smile when you go into pee and then IM’s everyone that you have serious VPL’s (visible panty lines). She can be a sweetheart by the coffeepot, but a ballbuster (not in the good way) in the boardroom.
Avoid: Being bitchy with her. This is not a good tactic in the office. And with secret bitches, bitching with her does not make you immune to her bitching.
Do: Keep your friendly distance. I find that with a secret bitch in business, the best is to stay on her good side, but remain distant; you do not want to be around if and when the shit hits the fan that she wrote that anonymous email to your boss about the receptionist.
2) Secret Bitch in the Bar
This applies to all secret bitches you do not really know, but are in social situations with you. You know, they are the ones who elbow you on the dance floor and say “oh, sorry” and then do it again. Or nudge their way in front of you while waiting for a drink and flash you a grand smile.
Avoid: Anything physical back. Ok, learned this one the hard way. Don’t elbow back. They will do it harder. Words are better than pushing or stomping on open toes with heels, because secret bitches are feisty…and probably good at bar fighting.
Do: Stand your ground. If you get nudged by her pointy elbow, cut in line by her luscious golden locks or have your man get hit on (this is to you stupid bitches who hit on my boyfriend even when he is holding my hand) say something, glare back and keep your place in line!
3) Secret Bitch with the Boys
This also can be called a boy’s girl-whom I usually love. These are girls who hang out with the guys, play touch football and drink beer to burp with the best of them. Some of this I do (not the burping part) and I love tomgirls, but occasionally you will find a girl who is possessive of her male friends. You start dating a guy, he wants you to meet his best friend (a girl) and she is all smiles at the three person lunch table, but as soon as you leave she is dropping hints to him about your clinginess, weird slanty eye and who knows what else.
Avoid: One-upping. Do not try to one-up this girl by smooching your man more in front of her or challenging her memories with him. If they are long-time friends, you are the one who might get muscled out.
Do: Find out what she wants. Does she just want a boyfriend of her own? Is she just afraid she is about to lose her best friend? Find out what she wants and address it right away. Offer to introduce her to someone perfect, or thank her for taking your man off of your hands when you need some girl time…assure her you aren’t stealing him, you are just dating him.
4) Secret Bitch in the Family
These are the worse, because you are usually either related to them or are related to them by marriage. Secret bitches in the family can be delicate and really annoying for reunions.
Avoid: Ignoring them. If they are in the family, they probably are not going anywhere, so do not pretend they are not there or try to uninvited them from things. This will only make them resent you more.
Do: Enlist their services. Often times, if you make a secret bitch part of the team and feel needed, their need to be bitchy (fear, emotional insecurity, anger), disappears. Ask them to make the turkey (because they make it best) or plan the slideshow at your cousin’s wedding etc.
5) Secret Bitch as a friend of a friend (or one of your kid’s friends)
Maybe your daughter has a secret bitch as a best friend or your sister’s college roommate has permanent PMS. Either way, these kinds of secret bitches can inconveniently pop-up at your wine party (as your friend’s plus one) or along to the movies on your night off.
Avoid: Alienating the linker. The linker would be your sister, daughter or true best friend. Do not put them in the awkward situation of choosing between you and her. This will only make situations worse, especially if the linker mentions something to the secret bitch.
Do: Kill them with kindness. Your linker has to see something in them right? I am always really really nice to these people, and eventually they have to come around.
This could be a man or woman who
a) Defriends you even though you are clearly still friends
b) Posts the WORST pictures of you ever
c) Goes around writing nasty comments (or secret nasty comments) on your status, pictures and wall. Ie. “Your hair looks so much better here!”
Avoid: Taking it too seriously. This all comes from jealousy. Typing and writing can always come out differently than intended. Also maybe they didn’t mean to defriend you?
Do: Take down any pictures or comments that would make you look bad at work, school or with families. Do no feel the need to leave semi-nasty comments up.
The most important thing to remember about any kind of secret bitch is to be careful with your trust or any personal information. Especially for teens or college students, you never know when they might turn, and you do not want to be in a bad situation. Also, bitchyness, never serves anyone well. When in doubt, treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated.
Taken from Brazen Careerist by Vanessa Van Petten. Click here to go to this site